DREAMERS|FEET

TO THE MAN

To the man who wears a brown Freego jacket each time he rides his bike; who bought a black retractable pilot pen for his own; who constantly reads Yahoo News everyday; who follows the blog of owl city since who knows when and later recommended it to me; who knows a lot about computers even if it wasn’t his degree; who used to write sports news when he was in 6^th grade; who was spared from writing a pad-full assignment during college; who was a constant DOST scholar while studying BS ECE; who loves mango float, paksiw and banana to the bones; who plays “Canon in D” through his guitar so perfectly; who easily sweats off when in physical work; who is the youngest of 4 siblings; who seldom opens his facebook account except when he used to peep through his ex-girlfriend’s profile picture; who plays chess at its best; who could stand listening to Brighter Days by Leeland and Love Never Fails by Brandon Heath over and over again without any sense of annoyance; who used to have a funny fear of looking at cameras; who always arrives late at work; who used to fix my retarded office computer everyday.

To the man whom I used to share my most authentic laughter and friendliest intentions with; who I used to call, Insan; whom I used to call Dudung and friend; to the only man who calls me Karleen -  YOU ARE CONSTANTLY IN MY PRAYERS.

I am missing you and the kind of friendship we used to share.

:( 

HOW TO KNOW IF HE/SHE IS THE RIGHT PERSON

Choosing Wisely

As we talk about choosing wisely in the area of Biblical courtship, I came across an article on yahoo that presents the complete opposite of what it means to choose wisely. Here it is:

Stuck in a dating rut? Tired of attracting the wrong kind of people? Change your approach to finding the right person.

1. Date different types of people, you may find that you have something in common with someone that is your complete opposite. During college, I dated a young woman who was my polar opposite; although we eventually ended our relationship, we still had a great time together. Give different people a chance and do not have any expectations for the date.

2. Internet-dating sites can give you a unique pool of potential dates that match your own interests. Websites such as match.com, and cupid.com are great ways to meet someone that you are compatible with. Try these websites out to get a new dating pool of people that have the same interests that you share. The best part? Everyone that has a profile on these sites are looking for the same thing as you! It’s Valentine’s Day today and I am sure a lot of people are desperate to have someone with them. 

With all the things going on today, let us go to the Scriptures and find wisdom and knowledge as we seek to glorify God in this area. We’re ready to tackle the person you can consider to be your future spouse. This is a crucial part of the process to both intentionally and prayerfully think about the kind of person you want to marry and the kind of person you want to become. But you also need to ask yourself if you are in the process of becoming the sort of person that such a person would want to marry. In other words, are you becoming the sort of person that would attract the kind of person that you want to be with?

 It is possible to err either by setting standards that are too high or ones that are too low. As we do this, we need to be careful that we do not end up in either extremes. We do not want to be too legalistic and we also do not want to be careless in considering a potential spouse. In the following section, I’m going to address young men and women separately. But this doesn’t mean that the men should not pay attention to the section addressed to women or that the women should skip the section addressed to men. Rather, men and women should seek to learn from both sections, as we’re talking about both becoming (a godly spouse) and recognizing (a godly spouse).

 THE CHOICE OF A WIFE

 Objective Criteria

Is She A Christian?

 It is clear that the Bible calls us to only marry a Christian

(2 Cor. 6:14–18).2 14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

 If we are only to marry in the Lord, it is equally clear that we ought only to court (or date) a woman who is in the Lord. This is the case because the purpose of the courting process is, with prayer, to carefully consider the possibility of marriage. It is also true because getting our emotions entangled with an unbeliever tends to turn even strong, earnest Christians away from the Lord. King Solomon is one example.

 1 Kgs. 11:1–8 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. 2 They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. 3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. 4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. 5 He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molecha the detestable god of the Ammonites. 6 So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done. 7 On a hill east of Jerusalem, Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable god of Moab, and for Molech the detestable god of the Ammonites. 8 He did the same for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and offered sacrifices to their gods.

Does she evidence some degree of maturity?

Does she have godly companions? Are they the kind that encourage her to focus merely on shallow aspects of life like beauty and clothes and reading Cosmopolitan? Do they belittle her aspirations to be a wife and mother and insist she focus on her career? Do they encourage her in her walk with God?

Does she have a servant’s heart?

Is there a track record of faithfulness? Does she pursue God in a corporate community? Is she teachable?

 Proverbs 31 guides us in this area.

Proverbs 31 10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Prov. 31:10

An excellent wife who can find? Reminds the reader that a good wife is from the Lord (see 12:4; 18:22; 19:14).

Proverbs 18:22He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:1 House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

 Is she trustworthy?

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

Is she responsible at home, school or work?

1 Timothy 3:11 Women must likewise be dignified, anot malicious gossips, but btemperate, faithful in all things.

Is she resourceful?

14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. Trading ships is a poetic analogy; she does not literally sail the seas. She goes out of her way to secure fine food for her family. Prov. 31:15

 By providing for her household and her maidens before the day begins, the “excellent wife” (v. 10) multiplies the effectiveness of her work, because her planning enables everyone else in her household to be productive throughout the day. She does not lie in bed and wait for servants to attend to her.

 Is she compassionate?

 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.

Active concern for the poor is a cardinal virtue of all wisdom literature.

 Is she full of wisdom and kindness?

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Is she diligent?

27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Prov. 31:27 She looks well to the ways of her household focuses on this woman’s diligence in caring for her home and her children and servants. Her rejection of idleness embodies one of the chief virtues of Proverbs.

 Is she God-fearing?

 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

The mention of a woman who fears the Lord at the end of this long list of excellent qualities brings back the theme of the book of Proverbs stated in 1:7. It reminds readers that this woman excels in her fear of the Lord, and therefore that she is a model of the character traits and wisdom taught throughout the book’s 31 chapters. The appearance of this woman’s fear of the Lord at the end of this list is also a reminder that this quality is more important than even great skill and talent, and is foundational to the wise and right use of all activities and skills. A godly woman may well have outward charm and beauty, but these are of secondary importance to her godliness.

 1 Peter 3: 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.

Given that a woman in marriage comes alongside a man to assist him in his calling, and to complete him, another set of questions is pertinent.

Practical Considerations:

Does she feel that her career should take an equal or greater priority to his? Is she willing to help him in his career and ministry callings? Will she submit to his leadership, and is she demonstrating this now in ways appropriate to the stage of the relationship?

A cautionary note on flirtation seems warranted. Female flirtation is often based on immaturity. By this I mean that she has no true interest—she just wants her ego stroked by getting men to pay attention to her. Such a woman is deriving her sense of worth by whether or not men are paying attention to her. This is also why some women dress suggestively.

 THE CHOICE OF A HUSBAND

Objective Criteria

Is he a Christian?

 Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her To reiterate, it is clear that the Bible calls us to only marry a Christian (2 Cor. 6:14–18).

This means turning down an unbeliever even if he’s just asking you out for a cup of coffee. Because women are more relationally oriented, it’s important to guard your heart before understanding where a man is in his walk with God. Men are interested in the conquest, and many will do whatever it takes even to falsely convince a woman that he is a Christian.

Remember too that a woman is called to submit to her husband. It is nearly impossible for even a strong Christian woman to maintain and grow in her faith while following an unbeliever.

Does he evidence some degree of maturity?

Does he love the Lord?

Psalm 18: 1 I love you, O Lord, my strength

A husband will love his wife best when he loves God the most. He values his time with God. He will seek to serve God, you and others.

Is he faithful?

Luke 16:10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.

Faithful in keeping promises

James 5:12 But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but 1let your yes be yes, and your no, no; so that you may not fall under judgment.

1 Timothy 3:12 Let  deacons be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households.

 Is he satisfied in God?

 Luke 12: 15 Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

Ps 16:11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Ps 90:14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Ps 35:9 9 Then my soul will rejoice in the Lord and delight in his salvation.

Does he seek to glorify God?

Psalm 34: 3Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. Does he seek to obey God?

 John 14:15 “If you love me, you will obey what I command.

 1 John 5: 3 This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome,

1 John 3:9 No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10 This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.

 1 Tim 3:2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.

Psalm 15 describes one who walks blamelessly, in part, as one who “swears to his own hurt and does not change” 1 Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? 2 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart 3 and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, 4 who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, (Ps. 15:4).

I think this refers to “letting your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’ ”, as Jesus said (Matt. 5:37).

Practical considerations:

So questions like the following are relevant: Does he control his temper (anger)? Does he control his speech? A lack of control in speech can include the use of crude language or inappropriate humor, speaking harshly in anger, or making commitments and failing to keep them.

In contrast, many men are sadly passive, failing to take initiative or leadership. Again, it can be very difficult for a woman to follow and submit to a man who refuses to lead. If he isn’t sure what he wants to do with his life, if he takes an inordinately long time advancing your relationship, if all his free time is spent in front of the television, consider whether he is ready to lead you and your family. Another area that can be revelatory is a man’s approach to his work. Does he show up on time? Does he only work hard when others are watching? Or does he work so hard it’s at the expense of church attendance and regular time in the Word?

In his private life, does he evidence good priorities by what he chooses to do and what he chooses not to do? Does he demonstrate that he has clear ethical and spiritual convictions? The type of person a man chooses as his closest associates is indicative of the man’s maturity level.

 Does he choose godly companions? Do he and his friends have servants’ hearts? Are they faithful men? Do they regularly attend church and demonstrate that following God in the corporate community of believers is a priority? Or do they spend more time playing video games than sharpening and encouraging each other in their faith?

Are they teachable and open to correction, or are they stiff-necked and proud? Women need to watch for flirtatious men as well. Flirtation on the part of a guy is generally either an expression of passivity (able to “initiate”, but not able to take responsibility and leadership), fear (truly wanting a relationship but lacking the courage to take the risk), or immaturity. It can be easy for a guy to show attention to a pretty girl, but far more difficult for that man to implement a plan to get to know that woman better in a God-honoring way to see if they ought to be married.

Responsibility and leadership demand a higher price than the mere display of interest called “initiation”. When flirtation is motivated by fear, he may truly have a plan to pursue the woman in a God-honoring manner; he simply fears rejection, so he beats around the bush rather than getting to the punch line.

The immature man has no true interest whatsoever; he just wants his ego stroked by causing a woman to pay attention to him. Or he may simply want physical intimacy (sex or foreplay) without marital commitment.

PRAY

 Lastly, we must be fervent in prayer. James says in his epistle: You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

God wants to guide us in this area. But we need to be willing to seek His will with much prayer.

Luke 11: 10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 11 What father among you, if his son asks for4 a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; 12 or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Spread out your petition before God, and then say, “Thy will, not mine, be done.”

 THE SWEETEST LESSON I HAVE LEARNED IN GOD’S SCHOOL IS TO LET THE LORD CHOOSE FOR ME. - Dwight L. Moody

Conclusion

We’ve talked about the Biblical way of choosing a spouse. We must be careful that we do not carelessly fall into the world’s mold in this area.

But have you ever thought about your condition when God choose you? Did he wait for you to straighten up your life? Did He see something good and righteous in you? Paul writes in Ephesians 1 that our election was never based on our moral goodness or righteousness. It is solely based on His love and character.

Ephesians 1:4 he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

1 Thess 1:4 For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, 5 because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. May the glory of God’s grace revealed in the gospel cause us to honor Him in every aspect of our lives.

May we seek to be more like Christ as Paul commands us in the passage below.

Philippians 2:3

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very naturea God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very natureb of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

***This article is reblogged.

What Else Am I Missing?

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

What else could I be missing? Amidst the busyness and the chaos that’s running to and fro around us, there must be something like the music of Joshua Bell that’s playing on, that’s ringing, knocking in our ears, a music that we have been all missing all along. 

As i see it, many people twisted life to its limits. Work, relationships, pleasure - they are supposed to be only distractions but has turned into a god. And there and then on, God became the distraction to life, instead. We became blind, and dumb, and careless that we fail to see what really matters. We indulge all our time and strength on living, on earthly stuffs, on trivial things - when the truth is, life is all about God.

It should be lived, loved and moved according to Him who created it. Only then would we find what would truly satisfy.  

In Time

There is a time for everything, 
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 a time to be born and a time to die, 
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 a time to search and a time to give up, 
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 a time to love and a time to hate, 
   a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.   

*Ecclesiastes 3

Love is Waiting

In the autumn on the ground,
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through

I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories – who’s and how’s and why’s
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you

I’ll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it’s time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

I’ll be waiting for you baby
I’ll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we’re ready, til it’s right
Love is waiting

It’s my caution not the cold
there’s no other hand that I would rather hold
the climate changes, I’m singing for the strangers about you
don’t keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you’re my man

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
And like I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summer’s start,
Neither should I rush my way into your heart

***while these song rings into my ears, my head is playing with thoughts of you.